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Joe Sims

Trust Spotlights

Joe Sims

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Q
What thoughts were going through your head when contemplating retirement?
A

Towards the end of my career, I went through a lot of orthopedic surgeries – I've had about 18 total. So, I was on a heavy amount of narcotic pain killers and I struggled with that.

I got into a car accident and crashed my back and my sternum pretty bad — It didn't look good. I had a bad taste of how football left me in my head for years, and I battled that. I still do – though I'm a lot better with it now. It caused a depression in me.

Looking back on it, I did it to myself. I struggled with it for years, I really did. I couldn't even watch football. I tried to blame the NFL for the way I felt. Transition was a serious life and death struggle for me.

I struggled with it for years, I really did. I couldn't even watch football. I tried to blame the NFL for the way I felt.

Q
Who did you turn to for answers and help during that time?
A

I really was living out on an island by myself, and didn’t know which way to go. I had just gotten married, and I had two young kids. I was really, really behind the eight ball. {The Trust} wasn’t around yet. {The NFL} did send me to treatment — they did it for me to try and get better.

I really was living out an island by myself and didn’t know which way to go. ... I was really, really behind the eight ball.

Once they sent me to treatment, I got healthy. I got almost two years of clean time, off the painkillers and stuff. So I decided to try to play again. I got back into shape and went to work out with the 49ers, trying to make my comeback. And then I snapped my Achilles tendon. As soon as that happened, the first thing they did, especially back then, was pump me up with painkillers. So that was a big, big setback. And I think that was the start of my initial substance abuse and mental health downfall.

Q
Are there any ways that you think you could have prepared differently either for transition or for the challenges that you just described?
A

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Well, let me step back a little bit. When I was 10 years-old I was sexually and physically abused by my cousins. That definitely wasn't spoken of back then. Even though I was only 10, I thought I should be able to protect myself. Now, obviously, I would have been in counseling immediately. And, I would have understood what PTSD is.

So, a big part of who I became, and I think it even helped on the football field, was from finding a way to channel that anger. I didn't know what else to do. I was just learning – I'm still learning. And we're just now starting to process that in counseling.

So, a big part of who I became, and I think it even helped on the football field, was from finding a way to channel that anger.

Q
What sorts of resources have you used to get assistance?
A

I was homeless and living in my truck until around October or November. By the grace of God, I got the phone number to The Trust shared with me. I had just had a suicide attempt — I tried to take my life.

I talked to the Player Care Foundation a few years ago, and they were a tremendous help. It was the Player Care Foundation that reached out to The Trust for me. I had no idea something like The Trust even existed.

It was the Player Care Foundation that reached out to The Trust for me. I had no idea something like The Trust even existed.

I got to Lakeview Health – I did 45 days there. They set me up in a sober living environment with outpatient and counseling after treatment. It was an awesome setting for me.

I hurt my back pretty good last week, and The Trust found me and reached out to me and asked me if there was anything I needed — and that was so awesome. You just feel like you're not alone. I don't know how to describe that feeling. I now know how to reach the resources I need.

You just feel like you're not alone. I don't know how to describe that feeling. I now know how to reach the resources I need.

Q
What has your experience been like trying to access counseling and other local community resources?
A

I have used Cigna and the Supplemental Mental Health Benefit that you guys have. It was kind of hard, but the cool thing about it is, my Program Manager, Miritte, stuck with me. I don't know how many hours she spent getting all of it taken care of. But she did — she has been a godsend. I'm so thankful that I know her. I can talk to her, and she doesn’t have judgment about what I’m going through. That's a feeling you can't put a price tag on.

Knowing that I can get 100% top of the line care and not have to worry about paying for it is remarkable. Without {The Trust’s} services, I'm certain I'd be dead.

Knowing that I can get 100% top of the line care and not have to worry about paying for it is remarkable.

Q
How would you describe where you are now?
A

Now? Now feels ... Wow ... It's awesome. I am repairing relationships — I have relationships with my father and my three kids again. I have a girlfriend, and she completely understands my situation. As a matter of fact, I feel {The Trust} has given me all that.

I'm also working to complete my education. I go back to school again in the fall, and I’ll finish up with trying to get my Masters.

It's all just truly a blessing. {The Trust} has the resources, and I have to try and change. Hopefully I can push past my mental health diagnosis and try to help others. That is what I want to do, to be able to use my story and help other athletes.

Hopefully I can push past my mental health diagnosis and try to help others. That is what I want to do, to be able to use my story and help other athletes.

My goal is to be able to do something along the lines of what {The Trust} is doing and help athletes. To be able to tell my story. I'm not the smartest guy in the world, but I have a lot of wisdom going through all this. The mental health diagnosis is not a label you want. But from the years of using substances, you do gain knowledge about what to do and what NOT to do.

Q
What would you say to another player who is seeking resources and doesn't know where to start or what to do?
A

The main thing I would tell them is not to be ashamed. Don't feel bad, and don't think you're too manly to ask for help. Because I tried carrying that weight for years, and it doesn't work.

Don't be ashamed. Don't feel bad, and don't think you're too manly to ask for help. Because I tried carrying that weight for years, and it doesn't work.

You know, only by the grace of God am I still sitting here talking to you. You have to know that the resources are right there, where to look and what’s available to you right now.

Q
We know that maintaining mental health, especially when dealing with substance abuse, generally requires a routine. So, what does your routine look like?
A

Well, my regular day includes going to the gym to get a little exercise in. I attend a noon Narcotics Anonymous meeting, and I have counseling once a week, including one-on-one and group counseling.

I was living in a sober living environment. I stayed there for six months, and the COVID-19 stuff completely shattered every bit of a schedule I had. And that doesn't feel great. I’m struggling with it. A big part of addiction is the isolation you feel, and so it feels like a rug has been pulled right up from under you.

And now, the COVID-19 stuff completely shattered every bit of a schedule I had. And that does not feel the greatest.

It's really hard for someone who struggles with mental health and substance abuse. But at the same time, I’m learning how to use those coping skills. I haven't mastered them yet, though. I've been more open and honest with my girlfriend and with my kids about how I'm struggling, and I'm just trying to keep it out there. They reach out to me, I reach out to them and it’s helping me to stay accountable.

Q
Is there anything else that you want to share or say, or any advice that you want to give a former player who might be in a situation like yours?
A

I'm here for anybody that needs to talk. I know I don't have the degrees, but I've been there and I would love to reach out and talk. It helps me, too!

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